A Guide on How to Build Your Assertiveness: 3 Effective Steps

Everyone should insist on being treated right – to fight for our rights without interfering with the right of others. This means fairly and effectively expressing our emotions, feelings and opinions. Experts refer this as being assertive. On the other hand, assertiveness training becomes crucial when one is unassertive (passive, weak, self centered, compliant, hostile, inconsiderate, and arrogantly demanding).

Because some individuals want to appear nice, and harmless, they suffer in uttermost silence and they think that their situation is permanent and cannot be changed. On the contrary, the rest of the people appreciate kind and accommodating individuals. However, when the kind person allows a greedy person to take advantage of him, the passive individual is cheating himself and also reinforces self centered behavior in the greedy person.

Assertiveness training is the antidote to shyness, fear, passivity as well as anger. There are so many angles in which the assertiveness training is appropriate. Experts in assertiveness have suggested the following steps to building assertiveness. These are basic steps that can greatly help you build your assertiveness and thus help you interact with other people.

Notice where changes need to be made and believe in your rights

Many people are fully aware when other people take advantage of them. However, they find it difficult to say “NO”. Also, there are those who feel unassertive but are unfulfilled and depressed, have numerous physical ailments etc.

The truth is that nothing can change, not unless the victim realizes his rights are being denied and he decides to handle the situation. Having your own diary will help you note down when you are timid, compliant, passive or aggressive to others.

A person can cite situations in which he has been aggressive or outspoken. These circumstances may be used to refuse that we are unassertive. However, many people are weak in various ways – there are those who cannot say “NO” to a friend who asks for a favor while there are those who cannot take or give a compliment. Furthermore, there are those who let their partners and even children control their lives.  So if any of the above describes you, ask yourself, “do I want to continue being weak?”

Figure out the right ways of asserting yourself in every situation that you are in

There are numerous ways to devise fair and effective assertive responses. You can discuss your problem with your parents, friends, a counselor or a supervisor. Ensure that you note down how each one of these responds to circumstances like yours and determine if they are being aggressive, assertive or unassertive.

Practice makes perfect

Ensure that you practice on how to give assertive responses. Use your responses to handle real life situations and then advance to the challenging ones that are expected in the future. If your friend plays the role nicely, you will find out that you need to do a lot than just rehearsing the assertiveness responses.

Finally, if you find it difficult to practice assertiveness, you can enroll in an assertiveness training course in a good college such as New Horizons learning centres.

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